Miss You Love
by sevenohfive
Summary: I've run out complicated theories, so now I'm taking back my words. I'm preparing for the breakdown. Becuase i miss you love."
1. He Lied

She felt the tears well up in her eyes and a lump form in her throat. Her mouth went desert dry and her head was spinning. Her stomach was in a knot and her heart dropped and she knew it was done. Over with. She bit her bottom lip, trying to keep the tears from falling, as they were close to edge and made her vision foggy. Her nostrils flared and her hands were shaky. As if she wasn't a mess already, now she felt lonelier, scared, afraid, but yet she came off so vulnerable. As if nothing had affected her life. Her breaths became shallow and her eyes narrowed at the picture that was placed before her on the news stands of Los Angeles.

She read the big, yellow words printed so neatly on the red background and her eyes traveled down to that image that just screamed that she was a fool. She licked her dry lips and subconsciously tugged her sweatshirt closer to her body and fixed her sunglasses to her eyes, hoping that nobody would notice her. She pulled her hood over her dark brown locks while taking a deep breath. Her hand reluctantly reached over to the paper titled "National Enquirer" and she took a closer look.

"Are you gonna buy that young lady, or just stare at it all day?" She heard a gruff voice and her head snapped up. Her mouth was agape, she wanted to speak but the words just wouldn't come out.

"That'd be four dollars." He said impatiently.

She searched her purse skeptically for a five, no matter how much pain was running through her body, she just couldn't make herself place the tabloid back to its position and walk away. Because walking away hurt so much more. She had witnessed it happen too many times, and she finally realized that whatever the situation, turning your back and walking away was never the answer. It just hurt too much.

"Er...okay." she said quietly, looking down she handed him four one dollar bills that she found at the bottom of her bag. Once he had the money she quickly turned and ran. She had to get back home as soon as possible to try and figure out what's been going on. She knew that tabloids were not the best source to go to when you could just call the person up. But hearing it from him would hurt more than reading it in a magazine.

She had just turned onto her street. The tears silently slid down her cheeks as she saw that no one was home. She picked up her pace and wasn't paying any attention, all she wanted to do was get into her room and stay there. Not talk to anybody, just lock herself away in her room. But her body soon collided with someone else, knocking her to the ground, with the tabloid falling out of her bag and the sunglasses falling off of her face.

"Great just great." She mumbled to herself as she looked up. She froze as soon as her eyes met his. Standing there, he froze too. He held out his hand and she completely ignored it and helped herself up. She took a deep breath and picked up what she had dropped, not making eye contact with him any longer.

"Miley?" He questioned as she looked away as much as possible, fixing her hood over her head once again, and slowly clutching her bag closer to her, as if it was some type of shield form heartache. "Hello Justin." She said stiffly and narrowed her eyes at him. She hadn't spoken to him since that day she walked in his apartment to find him and another girl in a compromising position.

"Uhm...I..." He started, slowly pointing to the paper he saw Miley holding and sudden rush of guilt and regret rose over him.

"It's okay, I already knew." She said expressionless and looked at him. "You hurt me so bad." She looked down and spoke, barely audible, sure he didn't hear it. She was wrong.

"Miley, you should've-"

"Should have what? Huh Justin? Should have stayed home that day, should have written a song about you for closure?" She sounded in pain. If only he knew that that was her being "happy". The boxes under her bed were filled with lyrics about him. His name had to be written more than a thousand times. The words recorded in her notebooks and journals weren't enough to describe the agony she felt.

"I was going to say should have listened to what everyone..." He started but saw he lost her attention and she was already reading the article she held.

A frown appeared on her face and she looked up at him slowly. "You're getting married?" She whispered. And then she thought about her past relationship with him and what he had done to her. The bruises still ached and she had no idea why this situation hurt her so much physically, more than emotionally. Flashes of him being so angry at her zipped through her mind and she slowly backed away from him taking in a long breath of much needed oxygen. She stopped breathing and didn't realize it until he stepped toward her and she stumbled backward.

He chuckled darkly and the worst images came to her mind.

"Do you hurt her, too?" She whispered, the tears falling freely now. There was no words to describe what she had dealt with. All she wanted right now was to curl up in a ball right there on the street and never get up.

He shook his head and smiled lightly, "I could never lay a finger on her." He told her and felt no regret from seeing the pain flicker across her face as she winced. He stepped towards her again and she ran around him and he turned to face her. "Stay away from me..." She said in a weak voice and turned around and walked to her house.

_How could I be so stupid? I feel like such an idiot._ She thought as she dug out all of her notebooks under her bed and ripped the pages out. One by one. Each notebook and journal destroyed. She let out a sob as she skimmed through the words, trying to read through her tear-blurred vision. If she wasn't home alone she would probably have her whole family standing in the doorway questioning her act. But she was alone. As usual.

An hour later she found herself surrounded by torn paper. This was her life. The paper set a great example of how she was right now in life. Torn. Ripped up. Shredded. Damaged. Ruptured. Wrenched. The list could go on, but thinking about it made it worse. And so her night consisted of memories. Painful, torturing memories. Her fingers slowly glided over the mending bruises across her body and she weeped at the thought of his hands colliding onto her. The way he treated her, and she had told no one. And she had listened to no one.

She slowly got up and stumbled over to her mirror in the bathroom connected to her room. She was hideous. The reflection in front of her made her jump back in surprise. So this was what heartache looked like. She thought it was over two years ago in 2007 when- No, she didn't even want to go there. But she couldn't help but ponder the remembrance. Her body soon felt numb as the visions of earlier years raced through her troubled mind.

Her phone started ringing causing her to snap out of her trance. Ignoring the call, she turned the faucet on to cold water. She stuck her hands under it and the water pooled in them. She splashed the icy water onto her face and dried it with a random towel she picked up off the floor. Miley knew there was no point in trying to hide the evidence of her break down, it would just happen again. She shook her head at the thought and walked over to her bed, she was about to sit down, but halted when she saw something reflect on her wall. She ignored it and just closed her curtains completely, sure that no light could get in, and no darkness could get out.

But it bothered her. She didn't have anything shiny lying around, just torn up notebooks and clothes scattered all over. She didn't wear silver jewelry anymore, but she got up and looked over to where the glimmer came from.

She walked over to her dresser and saw nothing silver or shiny whatsoever. Miley sighed and looked down, and there it caught her eye. Sure enough there was that last bit of silver, hanging over the edge of an old shoe box. Right away she knew what it was. Was it a sign? Why would she suddenly notice it now? Why catch it shimmering when she was grieving? Her questions went unanswered as she kneeled down and pulled out the box.

She gasped at the sight in front of her. Dusty, ivory papers lay untouched along with a few guitar picks, pictures, his dark blue and white striped shirt, basically everything that reminded her of him. But there dangling over the edge was a silver dog tag. Her shaking finger slowly grasped it. She blew the dust off of it and looked at it closely. Engraved in it was nothing but his name and 'diabetes'. She sucked in a deep breath at the memory of when he gave it to her and she remembered the time she last held it, the night after filming the '7 Things' music video.

"No.." She said and whimpered once more. He was supposed to be out of her life, but she couldn't stop herself from looking over the paper in the box. Old song ideas, written between him and her, some were just by her, but about him. She came across a sheet in his hand writing. A date in the right hand corner, her name at the left. She read to herself out loud.

_Dearest Miley,_

_I miss you so much, but I'm afraid that this secret communication between us can no longer go on behind Selena and Justin's back. It's not right and that's why I'm writing to you this one last time. I will never stop loving you and you know that, but this relationship thing just didn't work out. I would love to be your friend again but that hurts me as much as it hurts you. Please, don't write back. My family and I are moving. You know that if you are ever in trouble that I'm here for you. I always was. And I always will be. You are my one true love but this is just too painful. _

_Have a nice life. Call me if you **need** help. I'll be here, I promise. _

_Love always,_

_Nick. _

And that was the last time she heard from him. She listened to him and didn't write back. She should have called when she was in trouble, but she knew better than to get involved with him unless she **really, really needed** him. That was now. She was tearing herself apart and Justin had helped. She sobbed quietly as she dialed the number in her phone without noticing that she had still remember it.

It rang on the other line. He had to pick up. He said he would always be there for her and her hope that she gained back when she read the letter was slowly drifting away. He promised her. So here she was calling him and shedding tears like they were going out of style. It rang and rang.

"Please...Nick. Pick up. Please..." She said desperately and took quivering breaths. She was ready to tell him everything about Justin, how he had used her and even more abused her. And she was going to tell him how much she missed him and how much she truly needed him.

The ringing stopped along with her breathing and a voice took over the sound.

"I'm sorry the number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please hang up and try your call again."

She sucked in a fast, quick breath and it hitched in her throat. She lost hope. And he lied.


	2. Three Things

His fingers swiftly drifted across the white keys and he took a deep breath. This was the hardest part of writing a song. Figuring out the music. It would be the last track on their fourth album and they had a deadline that they had to meet. In 3 days this song had to be done and recorded. The pressure just built up and he felt like he was going to explode. If he just had a little bit on inspiration...but he didn't have any inspiration left. And he had no idea why.

He sighed and got up from the piano and sat on the couch with his guitar. Maybe a guitar would be more inspirational than a piano. Who knew? He strummed a few chords before his cell phone started to go off. He looked at the caller id and smiled.

"Hey, Sel."

"Hey Nick, do you wanna hang out later? I have big news!" His girlfriend of a year asked him. He let out a deep breath and reluctantly answered.

"Ugh," He groaned and spoke up. "Selena, it's not that I don't want to, but I have to get this song finished by Tuesday so we can record work on it a little before we record it on Thursday. I'm sorry."

"I could help you. It will be our first co-written song. Come on Nick...this is big news!" He chuckled once at her words...their first co-written song...the only other girlfriend who helped him was- He shook his head quickly and closed his eyes.

"Tell me now." He said getting a little aggrivated.

"Can't." She said back.

"Why?" He opened his eyes and stood up to put his guitar away.

"It's too big for phone news." She explained bluntly.

"Phone news?" She could hear the smile in his voice and laughed a little herself.

"Yes. I'm coming over now, that way, I can tell you the news and help you write this song." She reasoned and Nick knew that he wasn't going to win this fight.

"Okay." He breathed and then there was a short silence.

"Wait, it's Joe and Kevin's album too...why aren't they helping you?" Selena asked on the other line.

"They went with my parents and Frankie to Chuck-E-Cheese." He explained wincing at his last memory there.

"Aw, why didn't you go?"

"Sometimes I just need some peace and quiet. Besides I got to talk to you by not going. I'm sure I wouldn't have even heard my phone in that jungle." He laughed and she did too.

"So I'll be there in fifteen. Bye. Love you!" She said and waited for his response.

"Uh, you too." He replied softly and hung up.

Nick glanced at the clock, it was now 1:45, Selena would be getting there about the same time his family said they'd be back. Great.

* * *

Nick wasn't very surprised when he didn't hear the doorbell ring as Selena pranced through the living room. They've been together for a while at the point where they just walked into each other's houses. He didn't bother to look up as he felt her plop down on the couch next to him.

"Hey." She said and he finally looked up and gave her a small smile.

"Hi." He replied quickly and looked back down to his notebook and read over what he had written so far. Now usually Selena would be worried about his behavior, but she knew he was under pressure with this last song.

"Nick...I think you should take a break with this song. Wait until Joe and Kevin get home." Selena suggested, unaware of Nick's lack of attention.

"Nick. Nick!" She practically shouted, tapping him at the same time.

"WHAT!?" He yelled back and turned to face her. His expression was hard his lips in a thin line. She was taken back by his tone and just looked at him wide eyed, her mouth slightly hanging open. He realized what he had done and his face softened.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I'm just determined to get this finished." He explained, but her shocked expression didn't change. He frowned a bit, lifted her chin up so that her mouth closed and he leaned in, giving her a soft kiss. She pulled back with a small smile playing on her face, as well as he did.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked, pushing out his bottom lip a bit.

"How could I not forgive that cute face of yours." She said, smiling. "So can I see what you have so far?"

"Uh, I don't know. How about when its finished?" She considered it but was too eager and really wanted to hear it.

"No. I might be able to help." She offered him but he still declined. Nick wouldn't have a problem with Selena helping if it were any other song. But not this one. This was one that she couldn't help with, not even his brothers could. It was too personal. His current girlfriend just wouldn't understand.

"Well I-" He started but got interrupted by his older brother.

"Nick! You gotta see this! Come here quick!" Joe shouted from inside the kitchen. He got up and put his lyrics on the coffee table. Selena followed slowly after. Before they got there they heard murmurs of Kevin and his parents saying stuff like, "Joe...don't." or "That's not a good idea, bro." and "Joe, not now this will only bring back memories." But he obviously didn't listen and Nick and Selena walked into the kitchen to find a picture that made their jaws drop.

His heartbeat and breathing accelerated as he examined the picture before him. He cocked his head slightly to the right and slowly shifted his eyes from the article hanging in his brother's hand to his brother's face. What was going on? He furrowed his eye brows and swallowed hard, ignoring his brother's expression and looking back to the picture. Indeed the phrase "a picture's worth a thousand words" was by far the truest statement at the moment. How could he do this to her? As if she hadnt been hurt enough because he knew, Nick knew that he hurt this girl and thats what hurt him so much. But he lived through that unbearable pain for a very long time. Now he didn't know what he would do. He could just picture her in her room crying, curled up in a ball, never trusting a guy again.

But what if he had it all wrong? What if Miley ended it with Justin, so that gave Justin the okay to get engaged.

He slowly shook his head and anger rushed over him.

"Why are you showing me this?" He spat out and grinded his teeth. Everyone's eyes went wide at his sudden mood change. Joe quickly put the tabloid on the counter and backed away.

"Nick, no need to get angry." His mom said calmly and he took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm not angry." He said, unconvincingly. "I just want to know why you are showing me this."

"Well I thought you'd care. Obviously I was wro-"

"Wait, why would Nick care if Miley and Justin aren't together anymore?" Selena interrupted and looked at Nick, waiting for an answer. She secretly looked at his lyrics when he got up to see why Joe wanted him and Selena knew one thing very well. She needed to help him get over _her._

"Look, I don't, okay?!" He shouted not only to her but to the whole family. The anger was building up inside of him only thinking that he was right all along. He would break her and he knew it. He couldn't imagine how badly she would be hurting right now.

"You obviously still have feelings for her! I don't even know why I came here." Selena said and looked at Nick angrily.

"I did not invite you over here, Selena! You came here on your own! Now if you want to leave, fine! But I do not have feelings for her anymore, okay? I just don't need everyone reminding me of her when the whole point of us moving and such was for me to get _over _her. Which I am!" He shouted and ran up to his room, ignoring his mom and dad calling for him to come back down and be calm.

* * *

He slammed his door shut after he heard Selena leave and everyone else start yelling at Joe. He couldn't think about this right now. Sure, he was already writing a song, very much inspired by her, but it was also inspired by Justin. And that song just went down the drain. Justin hurt her. And so did he. He was getting mad at Justin when he should really be mad at himself. Maybe, just maybe if he hadn't sent that goodbye letter to her, he would be on his way to her house comforting her. Or maybe she wouldn't want him to comfort her because she hated him for all he's done to her and all the things he let happen to her. But how long was she hurting for? What was she like after the break up? Was she moping around all day? Was she isolating herself fro the world? So many questions with no answers. All in all, he knew three things for sure.

One: He was deathly confused about **everything. **Two: He was the biggest hypocrite ever to walk the earth. And three: He was finally crying over Miley Cyrus.


	3. Need Someone

It's been three days since she had made that stupid phone call. If she didn't already feel like an idiot, now she felt like a hopeless, stupid, lonely idiot. Not only was she already hurting, but now she was numb. The pain she went through was so unbearable that she couldn't feel it anymore. This feeling was like a never ending pain that didn't hurt. But she knew it was there. It was there that night when they agreed that a commitment just wasn't working at the moment. It was there when she walked in on Justin and that older, "attractive" bathing suit model. And it was there three days ago when she came to realize that she had nobody anymore because the one person she thought she could tell, didn't care.

She just felt like the world sped up and was spinning so fast that you could actually feel it. Always feeling dizzy, the minute she stood up, she needed to lay back down. She spent her days lying in her bed, buried by damp tissues and comforters with her guitar latched in her arms. She didn't even have to write down the lyrics describing her emotions because when she forgot them, all she had to do was look back on her life of the past year and that feeling came pouring back in.

Mandy walked into her best friend's room and winced at the sight before her eyes. How could someone look _so_ hurt? How could she possibly look as worse as she did the other day when she walked in, to find Miley curled up on the floor surrounded by everything that could possibly relate to Nick Jonas.

She had called Miley earlier that day, but she didn't answer. She didn't even know about Justin's news when she called. She thought that Miley was probably in the shower or lost her phone again. Oh was she so wrong. Mandy decided to pay Miley a visit when she called for the third time and texted for fifth with still no answer. After calling her name throughout the house several times, she raced up to Miley's room and saw something that she thought she would never have to face again. Crouched down on her knees, clutching her stomach, with a chain hanging out of her fists, was her best friend, shedding silent tears. She was engulfed by everything she owned that reminded her of Nick.

Mandy had no idea what had happened, but as soon as she saw Miley, she ran over and hugged her, rubbing her back every few minutes. So many things were running through her head as she comforted Miley. Such as, when did Nick come in the picture? She had some guess that the reason for Miley not answering her phone and texting back was because of the breakup between her and Justin. But Miley played her pokerface as well as any other teenage girl could hide their emotions. You would never think that she would be this torn up about their breakup by the way she showed her feelings. She always acted as if it was no big deal. Of course everyone fell for it because they had no idea about the scars hidden underneath her clothes, and they had no idea why Justin and Miley had broken up. But Miley's story was logic enough that her family and friends believed her. She broke up with him. Which she did. Sort of. She just left out the part about the cheating and the abusing.

"Miley..." She hesitated as she walked fully through the door. She was determined today to find out what happened. She was worried. As far as her family and Mandy knew, Miley hasn't eaten a thing since Monday's lunch, it was now Thursday afternoon. She was sure to be hungry and going that long without eating wasn't healthy. Miley was Mandy's best friend, nearly as close as a sister. She was going to be there for her. She was going to help.

Miley made no movement, but Mandy heard a muffled sniffle and hurried over to the bed.

"Miles..." She repeated and rubbed Miley's shoulder. She cleared the used tissues into the dark, turquoise, waste basket next to Miley's night stand. Mandy then walked to the other side of the bed and lied down so she would be facing Miley.

She held back tears when she saw the look on Miley's face. She had no idea what had caused all of this. And now, she had no desire to know what happened, but who did it. What brought Nick into this? Why was Miley _always _clutching or wearing his diabetes dog tag that he had given her way back when?

Miley's eyes were bloodshot, make-up that was never washed off was smeared. The usually brilliant blue color in her eyes was gone and replaced with a settle gray-dark, blue color. Her face was drained of color. It didn't look soft, as it always did. Her hair was tangled and her lips were dry. A frown was playing on her lips and she slowly took a quivering breath, closing her eyes. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she opened her eyes slowly and a few silent tears fell from her eyes. Mandy grabbed a tissue from the purple tissue box and wiped Miley's tears dry.

"What's wrong, honey?" She questioned softly. Miley slowly shook her head and bit her bottom lip.

"I brought you a pop tart. It's strawberry. You're favorite." Mandy told her, guessing that Miley wouldn't tell her what had happened yet.

She slowly sat up, placing her guitar on the floor. She stuck out her hand and Mandy handed her the pop tart. She ate slowly in silence, her sweaty palm grasping onto the dog tag tightly. Miley looked up at her best friend and saw the guilt in her eyes, how she wish she could help, but has no clue what was going on.

"Mandy..." She croaked out, her voice scratching. She hadn't said a word these past days, and even though her voice was raspy, Mandy was glad to hear her talk.

Mandy took this as the time to find out what happened on Monday.

"Miley...what hap-" She started, but only got cut off by Miley.

"I think I should start from the beginning."

"That would help."

"Well, on the day that Justin and I broke up..." Miley began, cringing at the sound of his name. She filled her in on walking into Justin's apartment and finding him with another girl. Then, she told her about the tabloid and bumping into him on the street. She explained to her the reason for her lyrics scattered on the floor, and how she came across her 'Nick Box', tears falling every time she said his name. Then, she told her about the contact that her and Nick had kept secretly, and about that last letter. Before she could finish the story she was already letting the tears spill from her eyes, tasting the salt as they flowed down her cheeks and into the corners of her mouth, spreading across the thin opening and onto her tongue.

"He told me to call him if I needed to. If I _really_ needed to. And I did. So I picked up the phone and dialed his number. I waited and waited as it rang for what seemed like hours, but was really only seconds. Then he didn't pick up." Miley took a deep breath and wiped her tears away quickly. "He changed his number." She shook her head, remembering that moment perfectly. "Mandy, I need him so bad. And he lied to me. He told me he would always be there for me and he wasn't." The tears slid down her face again, she didn't even bother to wipe them away this time. She reached under her pillow and grabbed the note. It was damp in some places. The ink was smudged from her tears and the creases were stiff from her grasp. Miley handed the paper to Mandy and she opened it, reading over what was already recited to her, in tears from her best friend.

"Oh Miley..." Mandy looked up and hugged Miley tightly.

"I just..." She sniffed and wiped her eyes clear, "I just wish that he would _stop_ breaking his promises." She let out through gritted teeth. "And I want to hate him so bad right now. But I can't. I love him too much. I'm just realizing now that I need him, but I'm too late. He's moved on....and I can't." She looked down and waited for Mandy to say something. But Mandy was speechless. When Nick and Miley first broke up sure Miley was hurting, but she wasn't giving up. She was being confident, and she decided to get everything that resembled him out of her sight. She held her head up high and she believed that it would be all good again. And it was, it really was. Everything was on the right track. She had a new boyfriend, Nick and her were communicating. Of course it was too good to be true that she had both guys. When Nick said goodbye for good, that's when it all went downhill. Justin was constantly hurting her, emotionally and physically. Even then, she held her head up high and she acted as if nothing had gone wrong. Going downhill turned more into crashing into every ledge after you've jumped off of a cliff.

* * *

"Do you honestly know you're over her? For good!" She questioned her boyfriend, tapping her fingers impatiently with a hard facial expression. She was slightly annoyed that she had a feeling that Nick wouldn't be over Miley yet. It's been over a year. He needed to move on. And that is the flaw of Selena that Nick hated the most. She wanted the truth, but when it was given to her, she didn't want to hear it. It drove him nuts.

"Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm over her! And you wanna know why? Because I love you, Selena! I love you! Not her!" The words came out as a plead for her to drop the subject.

She stared at him incredulously. Did he just say he loved her? Sure, they'd been dating a year, and during that year when she told him that she loved him, he stared at her and made an excuse to leave. Eventually she found out that he didn't lover her, yet. It didn't mean he wouldn't, but it didn't mean he would. And she accepted that.

He looked at her confused, as she slowly sat on his bed, her mouth slightly open.

"You just said you loved me..." She said slowly, a grin crawling onto her face.

Then he realized what he had said. Did he mean it? Did it just slip out? Did he say it just to shut her up? Did he _really_ love her? Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Sure it slipped, but it was true. He had finally figured out that he did love her. He really did. But...was it possible to _love_ someone...but to _need _someone else?


	4. Another Lie

**A/N: This story is going so well. I'm really glad. And remember..._italics_ is a flashback. Don't get confused...x]**

_She was grinning like an idiot. He loved her. And at that moment, that was all that mattered. _

_He never felt this way about anyone before. This was all very new to him. He never had a girlfriend, and she never had a boyfriend. They were each other's first love and they wanted to be each other's _only _love. _

_Her eyes were sparkling and the smile on her face radiated. He grinned back at her. Confessing you love someone at age 14 was never easy. People went against it, "They're too young." or "They don't know what love is." But their friends and family understood. _

"_You love me..." She whispered, stepping closer to her boyfriend of one year. _

"_I do. I love you, Miley. I _really_ do." He said and took one step closer to her. _

"_Good. Because I love you too, Nick." She announced and stepped towards him more. By now their feet were touching, hands interlaced with one another's, their chests rising and falling with each breath they took. They smiled once again as she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands took hold of her waist and they peered into each other's eyes. _

_The moon light shined down on the couple. It was perfect. They were so close that they could feel their warm breath collide. As they got lost in each others eyes, she stood up slightly on her tippy-toes and he leaned his head slowly so that their lips were centimeters apart. _

"_Promise you'll never leave me?" She whispered, barely audible._

"_I promise." He declared and their lips met in a soft, passionate kiss. _

_That promise was broken._

* * *

When it came to girls, he knew a lot. When it came to relationships he knew a little bit. But, when it came to love, he knew_ nothing_. So when his little brother went to him for advice, he was stuck on what to say. Sure Nick and him have talked about their girlfriends to each other, but never was Nick ever asking Joe for advice about _love._ Joe was the one you went to when you just needed someone to listen to you, and not expecting an opinion or judgment. And he was the one you went to when you needed to laugh and forget all of the troubles in your life.

"Nick, I'm not the one who decides who you love. You are. I don't know what to say." He said and shrugged is shoulders. He wanted to help his troubled brother so bad, but what was there to do?

Nick let out a heavy sigh and let himself collapse onto his bed. His legs were hanging off of the side as his back relaxed into the comforter. Joe looked over at his troubled brother, who has his hands over his face, and let out a small smirk.

"Where did this come from Nick?" He questioned, Nick could here the slight smile in his voice. He cringed at the question, removing his hands from his face, and staring blankly up at his ceiling fan, spinning round and round swiftly. It looked strangely interesting to him.

"Where did what come from?" He asked, playing dumb, as if he had no idea what Joe was asking of.

"Come on, Nick. The song. Suddenly getting angry at Selena. The conversation that we were having just mere minutes ago."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

_Lie._

"Nick.." Joe said and gave him a look that said 'tell me whats up now, you're not that good of a liar.' and Nick read into the look perfectly. His face became very still, and his head began spinning. It reminded him of the fan above him, spinning ever so quickly, each little speck of dust flying off and floating down to the closest surface. Every piece of dust that flew off of the fan was like his relationship with Miley—if you could call it a relationship—each piece took a jump start off the fan...then it floated...and the next thing you knew, it disappeared.

He closed his eyes and felt his brother lay down next to him.

"You know...if this is about Miley, you can still talk to me. I'd understand, even though Kev wouldn't." Joe said, reassuringly, hoping to get somewhere with Nick.

Nick shook his head and let out a dry laugh.

"It's not about Miley."

_Another lie._

"Not everything is about Miley, and she's out of my life now. For good. We are going on tour with Selena, and I'm already forgetting about Miley. In two weeks I won't even remember her name." He confirmed to his brother while getting up and walking over to his closet.

But that wasn't what Joe wanted to hear. He didn't want his little brother to lose his true love forever. He didn't have anything against Selena, he just knew that Nick was not 100% happy with her. He knew that even though he didn't show it, Nick was hurting. He could try and be as strong as he wanted, but it was too obvious to Joe that Nick hasn't been happy since 2007.

"Don't say that." He said and stood up also. "You know you don't mean that, Nick."

"Oh but I do. Everyone wants me to be over her. So I am. We're gonna go on tour with Selena...and it's gonna be all good." Nick said and he walked out of his room.

Joe sat there. Thinking. Thinking. _I hate seeing him like this...if only....hmmm. I gotta plan. Even if it will kill me. I'm doing it for Nick. _He thought. Joe had an idea.

Oh boy.

* * *

She strummed her fingers across the strings of her guitar. Her notebook was next to her, she had a pen next to that. "Left your t-shirt in my room. Still smells of you..." She sang. She had been writing this song ever sense Justin and her had broken up...but somehow it turned into being about Nick. So the first verse was about Justin, and then everything after that was for Nick.

"And the picture you hung on the door lay smashed, picture perfect. Explains now, clearly, nothing left, but a memory."

The day her latest album came out she told herself that she would never write a song for a boy who broke her heart ever again. Who was she kidding? That's how she always expressed herself. That was how she let her emotions out.

"We only made out, you never kissed me. That's how I learned to hold back all feeling." That part was about Justin. Every time she just wanted a simple kiss, he had to go too far. His kisses never lingered. They were always rough, well what did she expect from a 20 year old model.

"Wait, please don't go. I won't stay, all these words on replay. I'm okay. It's alright. Good to know that you're fine." And then everything after that was written while thinking about a totally different boy, who had captured her heart, and then took a shotgun and shot a bullet through it.

She heard her door click open and looked up. Brandi and Mandy. Her sister and her best friend. They walked in as she gave them a soft smile, but continued to play her song. She was determined to finish it. And it would be on her new album. Her days of heartache were her most inspirational, and that's how she wrote her music. Through her heartache.

"Pretending everything is fine, to make it better. I'll hide my makeup smeared eyes, to show that I'm fine."

"Some how you have managed to get under my skin more than anyone ever did. And if every hole makes a scar. And every scar marks its place. Then I will never live freely without your trace. And it'll never be fair. I wrote my songs for you and you never even cared." Her whole album was about him and he never said a word to he about it. It wasn't just the smash hit '7 Things', it was 'Bottom of the Ocean', and it was 'Goodbye'. But no, he never said anything.

"So I'll forget you I'll wash your t-shirt and kill the pillow and cut you out of pictures."

She could feel the two sets of eyes on her, and for the first time it made her feel uncomfortable.

"Uh..hey guys." She said softly and put her guitar to the side.

"That song is really amazing, Miles." Brandi told her sister and sat down on her bed next to her. Mandy followed, nodding. "Are you going to put it on your new album?" She asked.

"Er...yeah. Uhm...you know I've been thinking and I..." She hesitated a bit. She shouldn't because this is what she wanted, so she was going to follow through with it.

Mandy and Brandi looked at her, waiting for her to finish.

She took a deep breath and gave a weak smile. "I wanna go on tour again." She confirmed, and stood up off of her bed. She was stronger than she thought. The last time she went o a real tour was with Kevin, Joe, and...Nick. And that hurt. But he apparently had moved on, so now it was her turn.

"Seriously!" They both exclaimed at the same time. Both ecstatic that she was ready to move on.

She nodded, "Yeah." Then the minute it was said, it was out there. She couldn't take it back now. Too late. And so the memories came flooding back in. Every night of dreaming about that tour apparently wasn't enough.

The pressure built up in her eyes and she took a shaky breath. Maybe she wasn't _that_ strong enough.

"Miles, are you okay? You look a little pale." Mandy told her and she just nodded, biting on her bottom lip until she couldn't feel it anymore.

"So are you...moving on?" Brandi asked, very concerned about her little sister.

"I'm fine. I mean, I'm not over it, but it's getting easier and easier to pretend I'm over it, which means over it might be just around the corner." Miley assured her sister and her best friend with a fake smile. That fake smile could fool anyone, she's had so much practice.

"Okay...Well you know you can always talk to us."

"I know Manders."

"Okay. Where are you going?" Mandy asked, watching Miley put on a sweatshirt and tie up her converse.

"I'm just going to the beach. I need to uh.." She started, but started shuffling around looking for something, she most definitely could not leave the house without. Brandi then handed her a pair of sunglasses that she picked up off of the dresser she was standing by. Miley gave her a smile as a 'thanks'.

"I need to think about some things...alone" Miley finished and walked out of her room, pulling her hood over head and putting on her sunglasses, covering up her bloodshot eyes. She had still continued to cry her self to sleep. That was one thing that just didn't get old. She went to bed with wet eyes, and woke up with tear stained cheeks, and then she remembered everything and the tears started out of her eyes again. There was no reason that the paparazzi needed to think that she was upset about Justin, because she was slightly over that. It was Nick that was tearing her apart.

* * *

On her way to the beach she had in fact been spotted by the paparazzi. She didn't fake a smile. She didn't flash her peace sign. She didn't take off of her sunglasses, and she didn't let her hood down. She ignored them completely. She covered her face as much as possible and then she had finally escaped them by running off and taking a personal shortcut to the beach. The same one that she had escaped through with Nick all that time ago.

The waves crashed against the shore and it was very relaxing as she allowed the wind to blow off her hood. Her sneakers were next to her, with her socks laying over them messily. The tears silently slid down her porcelain face as every memory possible of her and Nick raced through her mind. They were sad memories, they were angry memories, and they were good memories. She felt as if she was living them again. Her eyes were closed and she went back three years, then two years, then one year.

She worked her toes into the sand, feeling the tiny delicious pain of the friction of tiny chips of silicon against the tender flesh between her toes. That's life. It hurts, it's dirty, and it feels very, very good.

_On my knees, dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume,  
Myself in this, I'm not faithless.  
Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose  
Ignorance is bliss cherish it. Pretty neighborhoods, you learn too much to hold_

_Believe it not, And fight the tears with pretty smiles and lies about the times._

_A year goes by, and I can't talk about it  
The times weren't right, and I couldn't talk about it_

* * *

**A/N: I hope you like this one. Sorry for the longer wait. But I had midterms all week. But now they are over!!! yay. Also, the songs used are Makeup smeared Eyes by Automatic Loveletter (that was the song Miley "wrote") and the song at the end is So I Thought by Flyleaf. **


	5. Open Letter

**A/N: I hope you all know that this story takes place in 2009...but its like October. So it's the future. And it definitely doesn't follow along the lines of what's going on. So like, this hug at the kids inaugural on Disney never happened, they never even talked all year. No Golden Globes. It's an alternate universe in a way. Okay? Just clearing that up. I'd hate for everyone to be confused. Oh, and this part in the beginning is not a flashback, its a letter. I just made it italics so nobody gets confused with when it is done. x]**

**Enjoy. **

* * *

_Dear You,_

_Two years. Also known as twenty-four months, seven hundred and thirty days, seventeen thousand eighty-eight hours, one million twenty-five thousand two hundred eighty minutes. And I'm in the same place. The exact same place. Clutching my cell phone, sitting on the ledge, looking out the window, wondering where all the time went. Are you in the same place?_

_I remember it clearly. I had a missed call, from you. So I called you back, closing the door, talking as quietly as I could. You asked when I'd be back home, if I'd be home by Sunday. And when I said yes, I should be home by Sunday, you asked me out. It wasn't the first time but for some reason, it never hit me the way it does now. Then two years later, I was sitting here. Talking to you, mulling it over, keeping my secret harbored in my heart._

_And now I wonder, what would have happened had that date gone differently. If I hadn't told you, oh god if I never told you. You gave me enough clues, if only I couldn't y put them together, be smart enough and brave enough. Had things gone differently, tomorrow would be our anniversary._

_It's warm here in Toluca Lake. It got warm earlier than last year. Is it cold where ever you are? Are you back home? Are you not in touch with everyone in the Hollywood business, or is it just me? It doesn't bother me that you disappeared from my life, and that I from yours. Our ending doesn't bother me either. It's just that, like everyone else, you didn't mean it when you said goodbye. When you told me that I could call you whenever, if I needed you, I learned that "love always" actually means nothing._

_Maybe that's what happened. You didn't mean most of what you said. You didn't mean it when you said we would celebrate my 16th birthday, and that you'd come visit. You were here on Wednesday, from what I gathered. But you didn't even come look for me. Now there's an aching in my back a stabbing pain that says I lack common sense and confidence to bring an end to promises. I don't love you anymore. I wouldn't have attacked you with anger, lust, or any other emotion, except happiness to see you again. I don't understand how you can expect our relationship to be behind both of us unless you act like you did when we were friends._

_But then the realization hits me, you were so nice to me, you and your brothers were so nice to me, because that's when you wanted me. I know that you loved me, at one point. I'm sorry I didn't lie to you earlier. You don't understand how sorry I am. But I did what I did. And when I got it together you forgot about me. As a friend and as more._

_But I try not to blame you for anything. I try not to envision you dying at the hands of a shark; I try to think of you as the guy I used to know, the libertarian conservative music lover, the one-day-to-be-president dreamer. The Elvis Costello lover, the gracious, kind, and caring gentleman. The kid who jumped on mattresses with me at every furniture store we came across and ran when someone came. The kid with esoteric news facts and amazing talent, twinkling eyes, and a sense of humor that left me smiling._

_Always smiling._

_I try to remember you smiling, walking with me, just two friends._

_So here I ask of you. Stop avoiding me. It only makes it worse. For me. Maybe it all meant nothing to you, but for me, it was something actually there._

_So I have two questions._

_One, what exactly did our quasi-relationship mean to you?_

_Two, why are you hiding from me?_

_Love always,_

_Miley_

What a powerful letter. If only it wasn't full of hopeless lies. Over him? _Lie._ Not in love with him anymore? _Lie. _She was a great pretender, that was for sure. If she sent him that letter, he would certainly believe it. Or would he not even bother to read it once he saw the return address? Absurd, she thought. How could he receive it when sending it was highly impossible, considering she had no idea where he was. Of course she knew of his vacation home in Texas, but she didn't know the address. And who knew if they received mail there? She didn't. She wouldn't stoop down to asking Demi for the address. Waste of time. She had nothing against Demi, but what would be the point in asking where Nick was these days, when it would only tear her to hear that he's hanging out with _Selena._

The pen lifted off of the paper and she repeatedly clicked the top of it. _Click. Click. Click..._

Oh, she was so close. She had not shed a tear yet that day. But when she wasn't crying, she made herself cry. She did something that she knew would make the pressure build up in her eyes and she couldn't hold it anymore. She knew it was wrong. But this was how she dealt. She cried at least three times everyday, but today she didn't cry at all. Until she finished writing that pointless letter. It was now 11:54 pm. She would have made a whole day without shamelessly crying over the boy that broke every promise he made.

_I'm sorry for breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep._

The lyrics rang through her ears. And it made her wonder...was sorry the appropriate word? Behind that word was there any truth? Any meaning? Or was it just another few words thrown together that he thought sounded good that meant absolutely nothing at all?

She folded the letter in half, then placed the dog chain she held onto everyday in it and folded it again, so that the necklace was safe and secure inside of that letter. She grabbed two pieces of tape and taped each opening where it could fall out. Then she pulled open one of the drawers built into her pearl white desk and pulled out an envelope. She carefully placed the folded up letter, containing a very special item, into the envelope. As she licked the edge of envelope, the taste made her cringe, she folded the flap over and it stuck to the base of the envelope.

And it was sealed with a tear.

* * *

**A/N: Im so sorry that it's short. Forgive me? **

**Okay, I love the reviews, but I feel like people are holding back. When you leave a review it should be a real review, not just "great chapter" or "love it". Haha...STOP WITH THE TWO WORD REVIEWS! =] but I AM glad some of you take the time to review at all, but I just urge you guys to really tell me what you think. **

**Also, check out the banner/promotional picture for this story here:**

**http://i321(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/nn364/iiwasalllwoah/edited/MissyouLovecopy(dot)jpg**

**just copy that into your browser BUT YOU MUST REPLACE (DOT) WITH AN ACTUAL PERIOD. .**

**AND be sure to take the poll for who the next chapter should revolve around! PLEASE TAKE THE POLL. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. =]**

**also, I will not update until I get 15 more reviews. Don't hesitate to show this story around. =] Tell me if you did. **

**=] kelsieee**


	6. Author's Note NOT AN UPDATE

Author's Note:

Sorry guys, not an update, but the poll on my profile won't work so either PM me or review saying who you want the next chapter to center around.

Nick or Miley? I already have an idea for both, but I want you guys, as the readers, to decide. It's your choice.

=]

Also check out my new story called 'Popular'


	7. Painful Regret

**A/N: Remember _italics _is flashback. **

* * *

"This is unbelievable!" She exclaimed to her best friend. And it wasn't a good exclamation either. More of a shocked 'how could this be happening' kind of exclamation.

"Sel, don't worry about it. He won't even find out that Miley is touring at the same time. He's going to be too busy to pay attention to celebrity gossip." Demi reassured her.

"But this is big. She hasn't been on tour since she toured with **them.** Now that _Hannah Montana_ is over, and has been for a year, people are going to talk. It will be all over the news. Miley is doing another tour and Nick will find out!" Selena argued back. The last thing she wanted was her boyfriend going after his ex.

"Selena! Are you listening to yourself? He loves you! He told you he loves you! Not her. He probably won't even care if she's on tour. You don't have to worry. They haven't talked in like forever. Don't worry."

Selena sighed and looked at her best friend hopelessly. "But he got all upset and angry when he saw that Justin was getting married. And that news was about Justin...not Miley. He probably realized that Miley got dumped and now he's upset because he's not there for her. He still cares about her, Demi!"

"But she was his first love, Selena. You aren't being fair. Who cares if he still cares about her! He's with you now and he loves you. Call me and everyone else in the world crazy for thinking you would be happy with that." Demi said and stood up from where she was sitting at Selena's computer desk. They had been surfing the web when they saw the rumor about Miley touring again. They didn't want to, but couldn't help but research more to find out if it was true. And it was. They read that Miley's manager had confirmed it. And Selena got all panicky and worried, which led them to their current conversation.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just making a drama out of it for no reason." Selena said and just then her phone rang. She looked at the name on the caller ID and smiled.

"Nick?" Demi questioned, a smile forming on her face.

Selena smiled widely and nodded. "Hey baby" She cooed.

Nick pulled a fake smile, which was unnecessary because she obviously couldn't see him. "Hey you. So uhm, are you meeting us at our house before we leave?" Nick spoke into the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, we're still sharing a bus, right?" Selena asked hesitantly, afraid that the answer would be no.

Nick chuckled to himself, "Yeah, Sel. Why wouldn't we?"

"Well because-" But just then Nick cut her off, "Hey listen, I got to go help Joe pack, he's calling for help and you know how he can get. So I'll see you tonight?"

"Uh..yeah. Tonight..we leave. Bye, Nick. I love you." She said a little disappointed in how the phone call had to end so soon.

"You too." He said and hung up.

* * *

"Joe! Get in here! Quick!" Nick shouted as soon as he hung up with Selena. Truth was, Joe didn't need his help, he made it up as soon as he read the headline on this celebrity gossip website.

Joe came running in his little brother's room quickly, thinking that he was hurt or something. "What! What's wrong?! What happened?! Where's the fire?!!?" He shouted looking around fiercely.

"Whoa, Joe. Calm down, look at this." He said and pointed to his laptop screen where it said 'Miley's Comeback Tour of 2010!' Nick scrolled down and underneath the headline was an old picture of her on stage with her diamond covered microphone stand...and three dark haired brothers on stage beside her, two with guitars, one with a microphone. Accept they were so distant from her, not like other pictures from that tour.

"Hey...I remember that night. That was when..." Joe faded off realizing what happened that night back stage. And the occurrences after the concert and on the bus.

"When Miley and I broke up." _The night when we both cried ourselves to sleep in each other's arms, _was what he really wanted to say, but he just couldn't choke it out.

He sucked in a deep breath and looked up at Joe. His expression said everything. His lips were in a hard line, slightly curving down, you could tell he was biting the inside of his bottom lip. He was looking directly into Nick's eyes.

"Do you ever regret it?" Nick didn't need Joe to explain what he meant because he knew perfectly what he meant.

"I did." He paused and exhaled, "Everyday for two years. But, things change and...I've moved on." He turned back to the screen and looked at the picture that brought the painful memories back to life.

* * *

"_Miley, just stop. We are done talking about it!" Nick shouted across the dressing room. He was currently not in the best mood. It was one of those days where his blood sugar was out of whack and he had to go on stage and act like everything was perfect and dandy. _

"_Talking!? I was talking! You on the other hand was yelling! And no I am not done talking about it!" Miley exclaimed angrily and walked closer to him. He remained still, looking furious._

"_Stop." He demanded. "Let's just forget this little argument." _

"_No! Thats all we ever do! We just forget every little argument, well you know what Nick, I'm tired of forgetting and I'm tired of arguing! Why can't we just talk it through?" _

"_Because!"_

"_Why?! Because why! I don't get it. Why can't we just tell everyone. I'm tired of hiding it." Miley exclaimed and plopped down on the couch. Nick followed and gently interlocked his fingers with hers. _

"_Me too...I just don't think it would be a good idea to let the world know that we are dating." He said calmly, they have been over this at least a million times, but he loved her and no matter how aggravated he was, he tried to remain calm. _

"_I don't understand why you are so ashamed of me..." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away and held in the rest, her makeup was not going to be ruined tonight. _

_Nick's eyes practically popped out of his head and his mouth was agape. How could she think that he was ashamed of her. All he wanted to do was show her off to everyone. He had the most amazing girl that he loved and knew that she loved him back. He was in no way ashamed. _

"_Miley, how could you think that I'm ashamed of you?" She shrugged and he placed his index finger under her chin and directed her face to face his. _

"_I'm not ashamed of you. I wish I could show you off to everyone because I have you and they don't. But I just want you to understand that by telling everyone about us, it could ruin us. Rumors would be started and we could lose trust in each other. Paparazzi wouldn't give us a break...You understand don't you?" Nick said softly, hoping that this would be the last time they had this conversation and that she'd end up understanding. Little did he know...it would be the last time they ever had this conversation, but she wouldn't walk away understanding._

"_But Nick if we have true love than none of that can ruin us. We trust each other and we can handle paparazzi...we love each other." She said and looked down at their connected hands. She sighed as she knew that in little time, if they didn't fix this now, they'd have to play it cool on stage. _

"_Miles, I just..."_

"_What?" She asked impatiently._

"_I'm not ready for big stardom like that. I just wanna go around and not have people in my face constantly begging for information about my personal life, my love life." _

_Miley nodded slowly, "You're right...there's just too much going on. God forbid if people find out you're dating 'Teen Pop Sensation Miley Cyrus slash Hannah Montana'" Nick looked down as Miley's words sunk in...was she being sarcastic? He never knew._

"_Miley, you're on in eight!" Tish said, popping her head in the door then out once she saw Miley nod. She stood up and flattened her clothes out. _

"_Uhm, I can't do this anymore, Nick." she choked out and looked at him with tears at the brim of her eyes. He stood up quickly, "What do you mean?" He questioned nervously and worry filled his eyes._

"_I think it'd be best if we just took some time off..." She said hesitantly looking him straight in the eye._

"_From the tour?" Nick asked, confused._

"_No, Nick. From each other..." _

_At that minute his world seemed to stop and his heart dropped to his stomach. Tears clouded his vision, not yet falling._

_Out of all the emotions he was feeling, he managed to eventually speak up._

"_Uhm, yeah...you're right. W-we uh- we should t- ta- take a break." He stuttered out and looked down. Once he felt her presence leave his side he quickly looked up. "So this is it?" _

_She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She simply nodded and finally spoke, "Yeah, this is it." _

_She turned and walked out of her dressing room. Nick stood there, his eyes still gazing to where she was once standing. And before he knew it she was already being announced on stage. Once he heard the crowd go crazy he blinked just once, releasing a single tear. And as that tear glided down his cheek he regretted not running after her when he had the chance._

* * *

"I'm not a little girl anymore. For anyone who's ever betrayed me, intentionally hurt me, or two-timed me, I'm not going to dwell on trying to make your life miserable and tell you that I'm going fight you. No, better yet, I'm going to stand here and tell you that karma is a bitch and you will get yours." Her voice was as cold and icy as her glare that was penetrating right through him. He stood there, shocked at how she built up all this courage. The last time he saw her, a week ago, she looked scared, lost, afraid. But now, she looked brave and confident. As if nothing could tear her down now. Not anymore. Sure, her eyes were a little red, obviously from crying. He smirked to himself thinking about how she probably spent sleepless nights crying over him. Could he be anymore wrong? If he thought he was what caused her to cry sleepless nights...he was a complete idiot.

She noticed him smirk but ignored it. She didn't want to know what was going through his sick, dirty mind.

"You know, I'm not afraid of you anymore. You may have hurt me both emotionally _and_ physically. But I am done. I'm through with being pushed around and being scared. I'm stronger than that. And if you think I have spent countless nights crying over you." She took a deep breath and her expression became hard. Her words were sharp, "you are a complete jackass. I don't need you. I don't think I ever did." and with that she turned around and smiled to herself. She didn't look back, she just walked back to Mandy's car that was parked in front of the house.

He was in the past. She was over Justin.

If only Nick were that easy. But she was working on it. Everyday she was a step closer to mending her broken heart.

* * *

**A/N: I appreciate reviews!! If you don't, the Jo Bros will loose 5 points of their sexiness. And we all don't want that to happen. (The tight pants go first.)**

***collective gasp from fan girls***


	8. Scrabble

Nick loves being on the road. He was getting to do what he loved, perform. Ever since he was a little kid, he had his heart set on being on stage. He did everything he could to make that dream come true. And it all worked. Him and his brothers weren't huge a few years ago, they played some small gigs and had short tours. They never played in huge arenas, but then she happened. He met her on June 11, 2006. The minute he laid eyes on her he knew she was it. He found something that day that he would never find again. Love. She gave him love. She gave his whole family unconditional love and she was there for him through everything after that day. She is the reason he is where he is. If there was anyone to thank for his success with his brothers, it was her. And everyone knew it.

"Nick, what are you thinking?" Her voice rang out and he turned from the window to face her. He knew he couldn't tell her what he was thinking, so he just shook his head a bit.

"Nothing, uhm wanna do something?" Nick asked Selena, changing the subject and trying to get his mind onto something else. She pondered his expression for a bit and knew something wasn't right, but she knew she would just lose the fight, so she let it go.

"Sure, let's play a board game." She stated, standing up from her seated position and walked over to the game cabinet. "What game?" She turned her head and looked past her shoulder at him. He shrugged and randomly pointed to a box.

"Scrabble...hmm it's time consuming. I guess it could work." Selena said and put the box on the table and started to set up.

"Wanna go ask if anyone else wants to play?" Nick took in her words slowly. They echoed through his head and sinked deep into his mind. _Anyone else wants to play..._That's what this whole thing was. It was a game. After their break up she wanted him but he wasn't there, and when he wanted her, she wasn't there, but now where did they stand in this sick and twisted game of tag? He still wants her, but does she still want him? Even if she is standing there in plain view with nothing in the way?

"Okay, fine I'll go ask, seeing as you are somewhere in your own world lately..." Selena said aggravated. Nick's head snapped up and he shook it a little. "Sorry, I'll go...ask."

One hour and 42 minutes, 4 people and 37 words later.

Nick, Selena, Kevin, and Joe were all sat at the table, two of them restless and frustrated with the pace of the endless game.

"This game is taking forever!" Joe whined, throwing his head back and sighing. "Kevin, would you just put a word down already, I'm growing a beard here."

"I'm thinking! Time is a virtue." He said calmly and started placing letters next to others.

"Finally!" Joe exclaimed and Selena read the new word out loud.

"Pen?" She questioned in disbelief. "You took 10 minutes on a 3 letter word that only got 6 points!?"

"It was the best I had..." Kevin said and sunk down into the chair a little.

"Ugh, who cares, let's just finish this game!" Joe complained. Nick rolled his eyes and banged his fist on the table, "You know you can just quit if you don't wanna play anymore!" He shouted, gritting his teeth.

"Well I wouldn't want the game to be over if you were a little more creative with your words." Joe fought back.

"Oh, what's that supposed to mean?" Nick questioned, clenching his fist.

"It means you can stop putting words about your little confused feelings and think of words people could actually work off of more than just _pen_!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Nick lied, his tone being softer than before.

"Oh please, one of your words is 'confused'! And not only that but there's also 'love', 'hate', 'want', 'need', and '_smiley_'." He pointed out, putting extra emphasis on the last word stated. Nick sat back defeated, not realizing the words he had played. He looked down for a few seconds then over to his left at Selena, to see she had her lips pressed in a thin line and wasn't looking directly at anything. Kevin was sitting silently, glaring at Joe.

"Okay, whatever. Game over." Nick said softly but hard and scooted out of the booth. He walked down to his bunk and sat in it, closing the curtain angrily. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And in that moment when his eyes fluttered shut, he saw a million things, but just one person. He knew it was time to move on. He couldn't let this get to him all the time. They had a show to do that night, and most of the songs to be performed were about her. He would sing them with everything he had in him. And then that would be it. He would no longer spend a countless amount of minutes thinking about her. He would no longer write music for or about her. He try to erase the feelings she gave him from his soul. But then he thought to himself as he grazed at the picture in his hands of them during the Best of Both Worlds tour, there was a huge part of him that was still in love with Miley. Was he ready to let that part go?


End file.
